More Nuances of Bridge Building

My friend NakedPastor posted a cartoon this week that has stimulated some good conversation. It was kind of fun for me because I’d commissioned NP to do a cartoon for the cover of a new DVD resource we’ll be releasing soon – and the cartoon he posted was one of the possible submissions (but we chose a different one). In the comment section, a woman wrote:

[My partner] and I, a couple of weeks ago, were checking out a ministry here in Canada whose mission is said to be “bridging the gap” between the LGBT community and the church. It wasn’t long before we discovered they were formerly a part of Exodus International and we started referring to them as “Exodus Lite” because they were doing their best to take a friendlier, non-judgmental approach to the issue but still didn’t get it. In any event, we read this one particular blog post from the lady that leads this ministry where she was defending herself as she felt she had been misrepresented by a leader in the Exodus movement. Apparently, she had mentioned two women that had entered into what they termed a “covenant friendship”, which the guy from Exodus termed a “sexless marriage” as it had all the trappings of a marriage without the sexual relationship as they accepted the view that gay sex was sinful. The post we read was basically her back-pedalling on what she had said to save face with the Exodus crowd, which was enough to convince me that she only wanted to separate from the bad image of Exodus but was still looking to run an ex-gay ministry with a pretty veneer to gloss over the harm caused by ex-gay ministries. It all seemed rather backhanded and dishonest to me, though they may in fact be very sincere.

I wanted to use this comment to again try to bring some clarity to what this blog (and New Direction) is about ….. and I don’t mean to be defensive – so I hope it doesn’t come across that way. Our history with Exodus is not something we’ve tried to hide. It is a huge part of our history – and will always be there as part of our story. We’ve tried to learn from that story in the best way we know how. And we’ve tried to keep moving forward into what we believe God is calling us to. While we do want to focus on bridge-building ….. it would be rather audacious to suggest that we are seeking to be the bridge between the gay community and the church. Rather, I think there are many smaller more relational bridges to be built. Sometimes those bridges are between gay Christians who hold differing views on the acceptability of gay relationships. Sometimes those bridges are within families where there has been fractures in relationship over the reality of a gay loved one. Sometimes those bridges are within a particular congregation where there is difference and disagreement. Sometimes those bridges are with post-Christian gay people who feel the need for some sense of being heard (or maybe closure) on their past with the church. So while we do seek to embody posture, priorities and language that will facilitate bridges being built – we encounter these opportunities situation by situation at a relational level. Part of that bridge-building is our attempts to describe spacious places where diversity can be acknowledged and where common ground can be discovered. Sometimes, there isn’t much common ground to be found – but there can still be moments of seeing, valuing and respecting one another’s humanity. I don’t think there really is that much common ground between an individual who believes that accepting the reality of a same-sex orientation or gay identity is outside of God’s best and an individual who experiences God’s love and grace in their relationship with their same-sex partner. There might not be much common ground – but there could be a humble, gracious acknowledgment that the other is deeply and unconditionally loved by God. And that would be more of a bridge than a simmering enmity, judgment and accusation toward the other. Where there can be an acknowledgment that God mysteriously works in the lives of those who express their faith and commitment in different ways, there is greater potential for common ground. And in these conversations there can be shared vision for reaching out and being partners with God in his work of reconciliation. But trying to embody the space of bridge-building means that we will care about relationships across the diverse spectrum of belief and practice around sexual identity. It means we care about relationships with those within Exodus. It means we care about relationships with those in the ex-gay survivor movement. It means we care about relationships with gay Christians who are celibate or affirming or partnered. It means we care about relationships with straight Christians who are black and white and oh so certain on this topic (with very little relational and personal experience). It means we care about relationships with straight allies/advocates. That doesn’t mean we agree with every aspect of what these different individuals believe or practice. But it does mean that we will seek to listen, extend respect, be gracious and gentle in our conversations, in the ways we may need to navigate conflict or disagreement, and in how we speak publicly about fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Our rootedness as a ministry has been in a more traditional and conservative understanding of sexual ethics. Again, this is not something we’ve tried to hide. In light of this rootedness, there are individuals who hold conservative beliefs and values who connect with us seeking support. Is this “exodus-lite”? Is this a kinder, gentler pull into ex-gay ministry? I suppose it depends how you would define ex-gay ministry. If you would define supporting someone in their goal to express their faith through a commitment to singleness as ex-gay …. then I suppose we would fit that. I wouldn’t describe ex-gay in that manner. To me, ex-gay connotes the idea of trying to not be gay…. to not identify as gay, to not accept and be okay with the reality of a gay orientation, to try to diminish one’s experiences of same-gender attraction. In my experience, this emphasis has often been unfruitful and sometimes emotionally / spiritually harmful (unless perhaps the individual was actually robustly bi-sexual to begin with – while I do know exceptions to this as well). While living a celibate life can be very challenging, I don’t believe that it is inherently harmful if it is a freely chosen commitment made by the individual. The challenge is when the church tries to externally pressure an individual to live a celibate life – when they do not feel called or able to live that out faithfully. So what about gay partnered Christians? What does “building a bridge” to them look like for New Direction? Well that sounds rather paternalistic doesn’t it …. Building a bridge, in my mind, is something that is mutually owned. So we experience bridge-building with affirming gay Christians when they invite us into conversation and relationship – and it is an equally shared experience because we both value the experience of reconciliation that might result. Sometimes, the bridge is about being able to relate to someone with a past association with ex-gay ministry in a way that is respectful and gracious. Sometimes, the bridge is about creating space for people to honestly own their convictions without judging the other. Bridge-building is not about changing the other. So, in our relationships with affirming gay Christians we are not trying to change their mind about their convictions. We want to listen and hear their story, celebrate their faith in Jesus Christ, and in our love for one another more deeply experience Christ’s presence. And where our friends encounter painful reactions and responses from others in the church, we want to offer support, encouragement, prayer and love. While I think our sexual ethics as followers of Jesus are important, I believe they are secondary matters. If you want to see a multiplicity of ways to live out our sexual lives as the people of God – just look through the pages of Scripture. Today, our reality is a diverse one. How will we relate to one another? How will we love one another? How will we encourage one another to deepen in our faith in Christ? How will we share the good news of the Kingdom of Jesus with our neighbours? These are the bridges that take priority. And they are built relationally, one conversation at a time.

-WG

International Day Against Homophobia

I noticed on a friend’s Facebook page that it was International Day Against Homophobia (thanks for the heads up Jarred). When I checked out the link, I discovered that it is a Quebec organization that is hosting the site. Part of their rationale for encouraging the observation of this day is that, “It’s about all people hoping for a prejudice-free world that can provide a place at the table for everyone regardless of their sexual orientation.” Some of the other language on the site might have some more conservative Christians feeling a bit uncomfortable or concerned about the underlying tone of gay affirming dogma. Quebec has its own unique secular culture that has a very strong anti-homophobia voice. Some religious critics have identified intolerance within this sentiment. Here at Bridging the Gap, we are concerned about the kind of generous hospitality that will ensure all people have a seat at the table – including the secular humanist and the conservative Christian and everyone in-between – that we would find a place for conversation around common values and goals in experiencing and nurturing shalom for the common good in our neighbourhoods and communities. In that sense, we stand against the kind of homophobia that excludes, belittles, creates unsafe environments….. as well as the overt violence of bullying, discrimination, verbal or physical abuse. And it is our hope that others, from many different places on the spectrum of belief or sexuality, would join us in this stand. I sat with an individual today who was largely closeted in their life and church. This person shared the experiences of hearing in their church inappropriate jokes at gay people’s expense, of more overt gay-bashing, of feeling like those who did know of their orientation were careless with confidentiality or paranoid of further disclosure. This individual’s tears seared my mind and heart today – even though such a conversation is not new to me. This individual needs a safe place – to be real and honest and fully known. This person feels like their place at the table is really just a big lie – so it isn’t really a place at the table at all. A study conducted last month by Leger Marketing found that 96% of Canadians know what homophobia is. And 82% of Canadians know at least one gay person. As this individual wiped their tears in my office today, they recounted how their friends who knew of their orientation never spoke up when others made offensive remarks. We know better don’t we. Break the silence. Speak up. Stand up. Don’t let your silence perpetuate unsafe and unwelcome environments. And if you name the name of Jesus – be the change you want to see in the church. It begins with you.

-WG

Friday Venting & Eating Humble Pie

I have struggled this week.

I found myself feeling really judgmental – of judgmental people.
I felt jaded as I encountered earnest attempts of people who, in my estimation, had a limited grasp of the big picture.
I faltered in extending patience to someone who came across as so arrogant while conveniently ignoring their own blindspots.

I wanted to just hang out with people who expressed and experienced faith in a way that resonated with me.
I wanted to put distance between myself and those who seemingly contributed to barriers rather than bridges.
I wanted to protect my friends – to the point of making assumptions or labeling those who seemed to be threatening them.

I’m afraid I didn’t smell very much like Jesus this week.

I was a shit.

And it would be easy to trot out the context and backdrop for those oh so understandable and human responses.

“I was weary of feeling attacked and misunderstood.”
“People are jerks”
“I was PMSing….”

But, I think it will be much more cleansing for my own soul and my truest desire to simply get back on track by simply admitting: I missed it. I was a shit.

For family devotions last night, I read one of my most loved texts in the Message:

"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.
"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.
"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.
"You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.
"You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.
"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.
"Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don't like it, I do!

And then …..

"You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging that. I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.
"In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."

And the Word and the Spirit did what they are supposed to do …. They convicted and challenged me at just the right time in just the right way. No fighting. No defensiveness. Simply – yup – I’ve missed it.

The challenge of a bridge-builder is to love on all sides. To respond like Christ. To not take offense. To not let pride or frustration get the upper hand.
On Dr. Stackhouse’s blog, he posted a quote from Phillip Doddridge’s book, The Rise and Progress of Religion in the Soul:

How does your mind stand affected toward those who differ from you in their religious feelings and practices? I do not say that Christian charity will require you to think every error harmless…. But to hate persons because we think they are mistaken, and to aggravate every difference in judgement or practice into a fatal and damnable error that destroys all Christian communion and love, is a symptom generally much worse than the evil it condemns.

Do you love the image of Christ in a person who thinks himself obliged in conscience to profess and worship in a manner different from yourself? More than this, can you love and honor that which is truly amiable and excellent in those in whom much is defective–in those in whom there is a mixture of bigotry and narrowness of spirit, which may lead them perhaps to slight or even to censure you? Can you love them as the disciples and servants of Christ who, through a mistaken zeal, may be ready to “cast out your name as evil” (Luke 6:22) and to warn others against you as a dangerous person?

There were some people I legitimately wanted to send this to this week. People who seemed to be straining at a gnat …. Some who would like to see me removed from my position in ministry. But in the emotion and exhaustion of it all, my own heart was compromised.

Stackhouse goes on to suggest that to Doddridge, “To show such love is one of
the great triumphs of the work of God in one’s life.”

This kind of love requires courage and trust. It requires a strength that I lack.

But I’m going to get back up on my bike …… and keep on riding.

-WG

Hospitality & our Trans and Intersex Neighbours

I have recently had a number of pastors consult with me about the reality of transgender persons. I would be the first to say how limited I am in navigating this complex topic. However, I am very grateful for a number of trans people and those living with the reality of intersexuality who have graciously and generously shared some of their journey and life with me. It seems that this modest relational engagement is head and shoulders ahead of many Christians who have next to no personal interaction with those for whom these are personal realities. My heart in raising this topic at all is to articulate my conviction that we must create and nurture safe and hospitable space for trans and intersex individuals to explore and grow in faith. We need to create space within our own hearts to receive the gifts that they offer to the Body of Christ. And we, as followers of Jesus who went to the margins and drew people in, need to be at the forefront of educating and confronting hurtful stereotypes and assumptions. And we need to remind ourselves in the church that coercion is inconsistent with the way of Jesus who was always invitational. We need to give people the freedom and space to own their own journey with Christ and to exerience in God's perfect timing the ways the Holy Spirit would prompt them to grow in surrender and obedience. I’ll never forget the conversation I had with a retired teacher in his 70’s. He’d lived his whole life with an unsettling sense of ambiguity and confusion despite having married and adopted children. He was finally diagnosed with an intersex condition in his 60’s. He told me of speaking with a leader in his church who simplistically admonished him to, “Pick a gender and then live faithfully in the boundaries of that.” While on the surface, this might not seem to be such terrible advice, I could feel the pain and sense of dismissal and lack of validation this person experienced. So I think our first posture in fostering hospitable space is the crucial necessity of humility. If you’ve never experienced the agonizing dissonance of gender ambiguity or disconnection, then you are best to humbly listen to the stories and realities that such individuals offer. They are not your problem to fix – they are human beings, loved by God, invited to find their life and identity in him. When I think of the parable that Jesus told about leaving the 99 sheep to go find the one who was lost, I am encouraged to speak up for the one half of one percent of the population who are facing significant gender dissonance. They may be few in number, you may not know anyone personally who lives with this reality, but they are loved children of God none-the-less. The reason I have brought intersexuality and trans individuals together is that it seems to me that understanding the reality of intersexuality may help Christians try to wrap their brain around the reality of trans people. Which is not to say that every trans person is living with the reality of an intersex condition (or that everyone who is intersex is seeking to make some kind of transition) – but understanding that within our very physiological make-up there can be ambiguity of biological sex, can help us to consider that there may also be physiological factors that lead to a disconnection between biological sex and experience of gender. Consider this: “People who have what are now controversially referred to as disorders of sex development, or DSD. They include a variety of conditions with numerous variations, which can be inherited or occur as spontaneous mutations. People with the condition may have irregular chromosomes: XXY for example, instead of the typical XX (female) or XY (male) set. The genes on the chromosomes may be defective. The work that hormones do, shaping male and female sex organs, may be impeded. Occasionally, environmental factors can affect sex development.” The simplistic response of, “God doesn’t make mistakes” doesn’t account for the kind of complexity that clearly evident in such conditions. The idea that people simply choose to rebelliously live a transgender ‘lifestyle’ fails to consider the potential of physiological influence or the anguish and rejection that the journey of transition will entail. To suggest that gender transition is sexual immorality would seem to reveal a lack of understanding of the distinction between gender and sexual identity. In the realm of drag queens and transvestite fetishes the realities for transgender people are clouded by the often sensationalistic overlap of gender and sexual behaviour. The Christian trans people I know make a very clear distinction between feeling compelled to make a gender transition and any kind of connection with boundary-pushing sexual behaviour. Some, in fact, have stayed faithful within their covenant relationship even through the challenges of transition. Recently Caryn, an M to F trans person who has stayed married to her spouse for more than 30 years, shared on my FB page that she has found herself, “Longing for a sexual aspect to life again. Some TS lose all sex drive and I appear to belong to that group. Eerie. I miss it some days. I mean, Bon is a wonderful wife, and I adore her... but I watch myself becoming more and more only her friend, and unable to be attracted to her (or anyone else for that matter). I find myself in a grief cycle over such a 'death'... this should happen when I am 80, not 54. I suppose, such is the sadness of the sins of the Fall of Man.” If ever there was an experience that demanded a willingness to live with mystery, I would suggest that gender difference falls near the top of the list. Most of us, I think, need to accept that this is so far out of our realm of experience that we can’t hope to really understand what it feels like to navigate this difficult journey. At various points in my life I have dealt with feeling at odds with my gender. I was a kid who tried to fulfill the identity of a son for my dad - and when my only brother was born when I was 12 I no longer knew who I was. And when I was a young adult, I had the experience of feeling misplaced as a woman called into ministry in a church context that only invited men into pastoral roles. While these experiences brought turmoil into my life, I cannot imagine the degree to which some of my trans friends have struggled. I cannot imagine living with the pressure and exhaustion of feeling like I was living a lie within myself. I cannot truly imagine what it would be like to feel that my only choice is to transition or kill myself. And I, for one, will not sit in the seat of judgment or suggests that an individual at that kind of cross-roads just hasn’t worked through their issues. That may be true in some cases. But in other cases, it might not be remotely accurate or helpful – because the individual has sought help through therapy, prayer, inner healing ….. and still lives with what seems to be a deeply hard-wired dissonance in their sense of gender identity. I’m not content with validating people’s discomfort simply on the basis of their own anxiety and unfamiliarity – as understandable as those feelings might be. In fact, I find my patience running very thin when I encounter this kind of knee jerk response. Yes, this is challenging to understand and relate to …. But for the sake of Jesus and in the name of Jesus, get to know the real human being behind some imposed label or issue. Listen to the story of faith in their heart. Listen to their journey. Listen, learn and love. That won’t answer all the questions. It won’t answer a question like leadership roles in the church. But these are so rarely the issue. Most often the issue is simply creating a safe place of hospitality where relationships can be experienced, where growth can happen, and where love can be given and received. And this is completely consistent with the person and ministry of Jesus. If there is any convicting that needs to happen, as I say so often on this blog, the Holy Spirit is more than able to do his job. At the end of the day, humility also needs to extend to the realm of admonitions around Scripture. The one text that seems connected to these complex realities is Deuteronomy 22:5 “A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.” What does this text mean for a gender variant person wrestling with their identity? How much is this text influenced by cultural notions of gender and the deep aversion to a man being denigrated to the role of the lower class of women …. or a woman presuming to elevate herself to the privileged status of a man? How much might this have referred to those who used this practice as a sexual fetish and a way for sexual release? Given views around sex and procreation is it possible that the idea of not wasting seed was a sense of the motivation behind this text? What would seem quite clear is that this single text was penned by someone who had no concept of the kind of gender identity complexity we are just beginning to articulate today. This doesn’t lessen the reality that the Scripture’s author was inspired by the Holy Spirit – but it does remind us that the Holy Spirit inspired a text for a specific people of a specific time – and we are challenged to discern how that applies to the trans or intersex person today. And I’m just not sure it is as cut and dried as many paint it out to be. Some time ago I had some correspondence with a person who believed they were intersex. This individual wanted a platform from which to share their story. I explained that we were not in a position to offer any significant level of platform (because we don’t have one other than our online presence) nor did we have the resources to produce a DVD resource based on their story. However, the individual was invited to submit their story in written form to be considered for use on our online sites. This apparently wasn’t satisfactory. Since then, I’ve noticed that this individual has commented on another blog pronouncing that I gave them a resounding “NO” when they requested to share their story. I found this disappointing. Intersexuality and transgender realities are not something we want to shy away from – even as we acknowledge limitations in our understanding of these topics. We think these are really important realities for the church to wrestle with – and to ultimately make the decision that we need to prioritize hospitality and relational engagement in a humble posture. This goal will be accelerated when intersex and trans people who are followers of Jesus model a maturity that is consistent with the fruits of the Spirit. While a chip on the shoulder is totally understandable – it won’t ultimately help change the hearts of those who currently want to hold gender variant people at arm’s length. I want to include this drop in the bucket post with such an example of maturity. My friend Caryn expressed recently in her FB status that she and her wife Bon,

“held an in-process meeting with the pastor and asst pastor. They updated us on the concerns of the elders. Building a bridge requires honest communication. The Spirit told me to offer that I remove myself from helping the homeless on Wed. nights. They agreed that the offer was wise. Building a bridge is costly. After 2 hours of chatting, we left. Building a bridge takes time Patience, listening, tears in the car, recovering in the evening. Bonnie and I just hung out with each other, softly chatting. Recalling our history is extraordinarily painful, many scars have never healed, and we have yet to fully 'forget the past and press towards the future'. I still have some bitterness over the church-people refusing to pray for my friend with cancer (she died shortly thereafter) or wishing the 'tough youth' by the trash cans would go away (I kept them company in winter). I still remember the pastor that scolded me for my lack of spirituality, and I replied, "Tell me the names of those that have lived in your basement" - and he went silent, for he knew Bonnie's and my years of allowing others to live with us. But Bonnie longs to heal in her relationship with our Lord, and it seems at this time, that this church will be part of that healing balm. So, having already been 'scolded' by one elder for 'having drug my family through all this', I wonder... can I withstand the inevitable attacks? Can I focus on the opportunity and not the offense? Can I have the patience needed to let the anger and repulsion (towards the trans-community) come boiling to the surface so that it can be addressed by the pastor and asst pastor? Can I bless the few that curse me, and be willing to accept the love that appears to be flowing from some of the elders and/or pastor? May my Lord Jesus fill me with love overflowing so that every offensive look or jab is never felt and always receives a blessing in return.”

Oh that everyone in the church prayed for that kind of patience and Christ-likeness! If you would like to read more of Caryn’s writings, you can check out her website here.

-WG

Believing in the Right Way

In all of my conversations about living in the tension of uncertainty, inevitable questions arise. “Should we never pursue certainty?” “Is this just ‘going with the flow’ how we are to live our Christian lives?” “Isn’t a willingness to live with uncertainty just relativism wrapped in different language?”

It is interesting to me how quickly and easily our minds can search for some rule, pattern, or principle. We project one response to a particular situation – and try to figure out if that then speaks more widely and generally. I wonder sometimes if this is our inherent impatience – what I like to call our microwave mentality. We want the response that can become our “go-to answer” – even if the response was never intended to be that in the first place. Part of that, perhaps, is not wanting to have to wrestle with every situation that comes up. Part of that, perhaps, is the anxiety we feel about getting it wrong. I think the pervasive notion for many Christians continues to be that doubt is an enemy of faith and that questions demonstrate a lack of faith – and that if we do either – God is rather disappointed with us. Or if different people come to different conclusions about what God is asking of them on a given issue – that is necessarily wrong because God is not internally inconsistent.

I am increasingly convinced, however, that doubt is a vibrant part of faith and that our questions provide fertile soil for intimate wrestling with a personal God who knows who we are and where our questions come from. It seems to me this is not so much about trying to figure out the right things to believe and then holding onto them, defending them and separating yourself from those who don’t share them – rather it is about an encounter with the kind of God who condescends to put dry fleeces on wet ground and wet fleeces on dry ground simply because the way of faith for creatures made from the dust is most often a non-linear, messy journey.

And given that the journeys are so personal, so unique, so non-conforming to one pattern – I am more and more nervous around forensically systematized theoretical theologies that dot all of our “i’s” and cross all of our “t’s”. It would seem to me that re-engagement with elements of mysticism in our faith is increasingly essential in the answer-oriented church of today. Peter Rollins, Irish philosopher theologian, writes, “For the mystic God was neither an unspeakable secret to be passed over in silence, nor a dissipated secret that had been laid bare in revelation. Rather, the mystic approached God as a secret which one was compelled to share, yet which retained its secrecy.”

Rollins goes on in his book, “How (Not) to Speak of God” to say that he pictures,

“ a movement which rejects both absolutism and relativism as idolatrous positions which hide their human origins in the modern myth of pure reason…… Instead of following the Greek-influenced idea of orthodoxy as right belief ….. [we need] to rediscover the more Hebraic and mystical notion of the orthodox Christian as the one who believes in the right way – that is, believing in a loving, sacrificial and Christlike manner. The reversal from ‘right belief’ to ‘believing in the right way’ is in no way a move to some binary opposite of the first (for the opposite of right belief is simply wrong belief); rather, it is a way of transcending the binary altogether. Thus orthodoxy is no longer (mis)understood as the opposite of heresy but rather is understood as a term that signals a way of being in the world rather than a means of believing things about the world…… Orthodoxy as right belief will cost us little; indeed, it will allow us to sit back with our Pharisaic doctrines, guarding the ‘truth’ with the purity of our interpretations. But orthodoxy, as believing the right way, as bringing love to the world around us and within us …. that will cost us everything.”

This past Sunday morning, my pastor spoke on what it means to be a person of the resurrection. In his message he referenced the raising of Lazarus as the point at which Jesus knew that once he crossed this ‘line’ he sealed the deal on his own death. In chatting with him afterwards, I told him about my post on Ontario’s sexual education curriculum – something many Christian parents are strongly opposed to – and how I wondered and hoped that my speaking up was some embodiment of the resurrection for the many children who need aspects of this curriculum for their own safety and wellbeing. But how it also felt like crossing a line that would inevitably alienate me from yet more Christians (and likely donors to New Direction who had already been sending me forwarded emails asking me to speak up against this curriculum). My pastor made the point that even the Jews, in the account of Lazarus’ resurrection noted Jesus’ great love (“See how he loved him” verse 36). To which I responded that some Christians are not yet sure who I would be extending love to with such a stance – or if they were, indeed, worthy of love.

For those who wonder if my ramblings about uncertainty are the easy way out or some way to abdicate responsibility – I would submit that a willingness to crucify systematic right beliefs for the much messier, easily misunderstood, and suspiciously viewed ‘believing in the right way’ is not the easy way out – rather, it is the way to get yourself killed.

I want to challenge the “you’re loving people into hell” kind of certainties – and hear the stories of how they are actually loving people they disagree with. I want to turn the orthodoxy tests that are all about determining if I believe the right things into opportunities to share the ways we are believing in the right way.

I want to stand up for the certainty that love is what we have been called to. I want to speak of our intimate encounters with God where we will be stretched and challenged and enabled to love well. I want to hear of coming to know him more deeply through His Word, our experience walking in step with the Holy Spirit, and encountering Him in the lives of our neighbours who we love and serve, and more fully embodying His love. I want to focus on the witness of stepping out to speak for those who cannot speak, to touch those who are often ignored, and to link arms – even with those with whom we disagree. Such love is costly. It isn’t relativistic or ‘going with the flow’ or abdicating responsibility – it is tangible, transformative and transcendent. It is the secret.

-WG