It was a story I’d heard before, but hearing it in the Christian school I’d graduated from, brought a level of emotion that surprised even me. In ten years of engaging with those outside the heterosexual mainstream, I have sat with countless individuals who shared stories of unsafe environments within the Christian community. But hearing my colleague tell of being beaten up by a group of boys at his Christian school during our seminar for teachers was a poignant moment. We had spent all day going through questions of identity, causation, disclosure, student support and the reality of homophobic language and behaviour that continues to persist in our school environments. My colleague’s story, told from the perspective of someone who had journeyed for as long as he could remember with the reality of same-sex attraction, packed an emotional punch that no amount of theoretical diversity training could offer.
“I'm so confused right now, and could really use some help. When I was 12, I got caught messing around with a girl. I got in a lot of trouble. After that, I started watching gay porn. I've never had many guy friends, although I've wanted them. It's mostly been girls. At this point, I'm almost exclusively turned on by guys, and I'm worried if I turned myself gay somehow, by watching gay porn and not being around many guys. Deep down inside, though, I feel straight, or at least bisexual. I really like girls and want a relationship with one. What should I do?” ~ male student age 15
Questions of sexual and gender identity are a reality in our schools that can no longer be ignored. The tensions are complex and challenging. Teachers and administrators may feel the tug and pull of diverse needs and expectations. There are faith-based beliefs and values to uphold. There are parental concerns regarding what is discussed and taught on a topic like homosexuality. There are the needs of students who may be questioning, struggling, experimenting or trying to navigate their own coming out process. There are opportunities to guide students who are wrestling to know how to engage their culture, interact with gay people, and integrate their Christian faith in these areas. There are same-sex attracted educators who may carry the weight of hiding such an intrinsic part of themselves from their communities. There can be assumptions, misunderstandings, and fear. There is also the increasing reality of diversity in our school communities. Gone are the days of predicting a uniform response to sexual ethics for same-sex attracted people. Sincere people who are committed to Christ and care deeply about the formational authority of Scripture in our lives come to different conclusions about the appropriateness of covenanted same-sex partnerships for those who experience a persistent gay orientation. Such diversity can be further intensified in multicultural settings where families from different backgrounds may have radically different responses to sexual minorities.
“I started coming to terms with my sexuality around age 12 and was very "in the closet" about it. I later came out to my mom, which was a big mistake. I then confided in someone I trusted at school, and she spread it around the entire school. I was embarrassed at first, but I am comfortable with it and I feel more free now that I am out at school. However, I am not out at church. The people at church are not accepting of people being gay. They accept the people as friends, but not that part of them and they try to break that. They always claim that homosexuality is a choice. I'm sorry, but true homosexuality is NOT a choice. I would not choose to be ridiculed on a daily basis by various people, confined to the house by my mom, and not allowed to go places with girls. I am scared to share with my friends from church and come out to them, as they will judge me and try to "fix" me or something.” ~ female student age 14
In addition, to the internal navigating of such complexity, is the reality that our response, in as public an arena as a school environment, carries significant implications for our witness in the broader community. The Christian response to the personal and relational reality of sexual minorities is one of the most significant litmus tests for unchurched people. We will be judged one way or the other: welcoming or exclusionary, promoting injustice or equity, extending respect or alienating. Confronted with such challenges, administrators, teachers, parents and students have the opportunity to join together in nurturing a safe and hospitable community for those outside the heterosexual mainstream.
Such a community follows in the steps of Jesus who waded fearlessly into the hot button tensions and points of exclusion of his day. At the heart of Jesus’ ministry, we see him crossing borders, touching the marginalized, and engaging the very kind of people that the religious leaders warned against. Jesus models for us the ultimate unconditional invitation when he breaks down barriers of religious bitterness with Samaritans, boundaries of uncleanness with lepers, and blockades of moral impurity with prostitutes. His behaviour was so scandalous, so subversive, so shocking that the most committed adherents of the faith failed to recognize the Kingdom in his ministry. They not only failed to recognize his fulfillment of God’s promise, but his movement to the margins so infuriated, frustrated and threatened their sense of appropriate religious conduct that they conspired to murder him.
Following Jesus and modeling our communities after his commitment to draw in those on the edges demands fearless love. Extending Christ-like hospitality is not mindless affirmation of a secularized view of sexuality. But it does create an environment in which love wins out over fear, formation wins out over control, invitation wins out over coercion, and education wins out over indoctrinization. Prayerful, Spirit led Biblical reflection on God’s story revealed through all of Scripture must lead our conversations. Issues of justice must be considered through the lens of God’s promise of shalom and redemption. But theoretical certainties compiled from systematic proof-texting may need to be deconstructed to hear the whisper of the Spirit in each unique life and journey. I have heard too many stories from those who felt they had no other option but to choose between going forward with God or being honest about their sexuality. This ought not to be. If environments of silence and denial persist in our schools, if topics of gender and sexual identity cannot be openly explored and discussed, we will perpetuate this false dichotomy. If even one student in your school walks away from God because they never found a safe place to honestly wrestle with how to integrate their faith and their experience of sexuality, “That”, says Jesus, the teller of a parable of leaving 99 sheep to search for one, “is one too many.” Gay communities are filled with post-Christian individuals, the tragic fallout of a defensive and fearful church. Our Christian schools can begin to reverse that trend. Our schools can be vibrant communities where people can be real and honest in their journeys.
“I'm not sure if I'm a lesbian. I have always been a tomboy and I always hang out with boys. I have had three boyfriends but have never had sex. I have always felt more like a boy than a girl but I definitely do NOT want a sex change.” ~ female student age 12
The reality is that adolescent development is commonly marked by uncertainty in sexual identity. Research has shown us that a quarter of 12 year olds have questions about their sexuality. The majority of those will eventually find themselves in the heterosexual mainstream. But given our over-sexualized and gay-positive culture, our students need safe places to navigate their experiences and confusion. A hospitable community humbly recognizes there are no formulas or ten step processes to guarantee a preferred outcome but rather encourages students to engage their whole self in the robust journey of discipleship. It has been said that the difference between tolerance and hospitality is that when tolerance is exercised there is no room for robust discussion of difference but when hospitality is extended the opportunity to listen, engage and explore the variety of perspectives brought to the table is welcomed.
Hospitality, therefore, invites a deeper exploration of who we are, who we are called to be, how we are called to live with one another in a manner that truly reflects the heart of Christ. True hospitality creates spaciousness in which difficult questions can be explored, values owned, virtues encouraged, reductionistic labels resisted, and wholistic identity in Christ formed. Such spaciousness invites honesty and authenticity for those whose experience of gender or sexual attraction falls outside of the mainstream. In the safety of such an environment, distinctions between attractions felt and choices about how to respond to those attractions can be considered without shame or judgment. Validation of each person’s worth and dignity as an image-bearer of God, regardless of sexual identity, can be communicated when a safe and hospitable ethos has been established. Valuing hospitality and being hospitable don’t go hand in hand without a lot of intentional steps along the way.
To nurture hospitable space for sexual minorities within our community we need to:
- Recognize and confront the places where fear is preventing us from embodying the radically invitational ministry of Jesus. This needs to happen at the constituency level with parents and supporters, at the board and staff level, and at the student body level.
- Affirm the presence of sexual minorities in our communities and validate the reality of their experiences. Model the distinction between acceptance and approval. Accepting a person who experiences same-sex attraction is not conditional on approving every decision they make.
- Commit time and resources to equipping staff and students at the intersection of faith and sexuality. Bring in a speaker to share their story. Engage documentaries and DVD resources. Integrate this conversation in Bible, social studies, health, history, art and other classes.
- Speak up when exclusionary language or humour is heard. Help the community to connect to the personal impact by sharing stories of same-sex attracted individuals who have experienced rejection, bullying, or violence.
- Review policies for equitable language. Equity is about people. Policy is about behaviour. Determine that codes of conduct will maintain consistent standards.
- Cultivate a community where different perspectives can be held with the expectation of mutual respect and honouring of one another’s convictions. Be willing to acknowledge that mystery is part of the journey of faith. Intentionally prioritize loving and serving one another over being right.
80% of our students perceive Christians to be anti-gay. We face the challenge of shaping the response of this generation. It will require boldly going to the margins in the footsteps of Jesus. It will mean facing our fears. But the vision of equipped, engaged ambassadors of reconciliation extending hospitality in a vibrantly Christ-like manner in the academies, workplaces and neighbourhoods of our communities makes every intentional step and risk worth it, for this is the heart of the gospel.
-WG
You wrote "But given our over-sexualized and gay-positive culture, our students need safe places to navigate their experiences and confusion. A hospitable community humbly recognizes there are no formulas or ten step processes to guarantee a preferred outcome but rather encourages students to engage their whole self in the robust journey of discipleship."
ReplyDeleteI probably agree that when it comes to sex and sexuality our culture, particularly here in the US, is more or less out of it's mind... and that probably there is more sexual innuendo in the air than is really necessary. But I don't think it's completely fair to combine the phrases "over-sexualized" and "gay-positive" in the same breath (unless I've misread your meaning).
Had there been gay-positive role models (or even the It Gets Better Project) when I was an eighth grader realizing (with perfectly trained Christian horror) what I was attracted to - perhaps coming out wouldn't have been the traumatic experience that it was, dragging out over decades.
It still angers and saddens me that it was that way - because it really didn't have to be.
Hi Brian - I see what you're saying - and if I hadn't been kept to such a tight word count - I would have put them in two different sentences. It seems now that both would have a potentially negative connotation - but that was not my intention. I was challenged to keep within my word restriction.
ReplyDeleteWendy, how do you communicate with parents who are broken-hearted when they find a child of theirs is a homosexual? Their fear, shame, guilt has to be overwhelming at times.
ReplyDeleteThey, often, I would think, without realizing it, place their child in a no-win situation. The parents want their child 'fixed'; and, the child feels unwanted, unloved, ashamed when he/she can't manage this.
I'm not sure any parent really wants a gay child, just as none of us who are gay would choose this orientation.
Tough stuff, right?
"But given our ... gay-positive culture, our students need safe places to navigate their experiences and confusion."
ReplyDeleteHuh? Are you saying that kids need to be sheltered from gay-positive influences? That somehow seeing positive gay role models will encourage them to become gay?
Here's a question for you: did you really leave the "being gay is a lifestyle choice" thing completely behind you when you left the Exodus fold or does it still rule your thinking?
Why should people of any age see positive images of homosexuality as anything but an affirmation of the basic dignity of fellow human beings? Why should anyone need protection from that, no matter how young they are or how "confused" you've decided they must be?
By implying that young people must be sheltered from positive references to homosexuality you're also implying that by doing so you can interfere in their psycho-sexual development and stop them turning gay. Or that conversely if you don't shelter them from contact with "gay-positive culture", what you term "confusion" will necessarily turn into homosexuality.
Honestly, you can take the ministry out of Exodus but can you ever really take Exodus out of the ministry?
hello Stephen,
ReplyDeleteIf you had read the earlier comments from Brian and my reply - you would have seen that I did not intend that sentence to have a negative connotation. The original sentence read, "But given our over-sexualized and gay-positive culture, our students need safe places to navigate their experiences and confusion." This is not a commentary on our culture being gay-positive - it is simply stating that for kids who are trying to navigate their confusion, the Christian school (this article was written for Christian school teachers) needs to be a safe place.
There are some kids who are not gay, but go through a time of confusion, who need to figure out who they are. They need a safe place that isn't going to make that decision for them (one way or the other) but truly gives them the space to figure that out for themselves. There are also kids who are gay, who go through a period of uncertainty, who also need the space to figure out who they are without feeling pressure from their school environment.
The fact that our culture is over-sexualized makes this kind of self-reflection more complex. The reality that our culture is much more gay-positive than it has been in the past can help a kid to not feel shame or fear about experiencing same-sex attraction (good things) but can also increase their confusion (am I gay? I like the same things that character xyz on the tv show xyz likes ....). This doesn't mean there shouldn't be an honest and realistic portrayal of gay people in the media - it simply means that kids need an oasis from the many messages they encounter - where they can have the safety, space and quietness to really listen to their own life, to really reflect on who they really are.
Just as we wouldn't want to see a gay kid live inauthentically as though they were straight, we wouldn't want to see a kid who isn't same-sex oriented live as though they were - for this too would be an inauthentic expression of self. All of that to say, the sentence in the article (where I had to really watch my word count - unlike this comment which is getting very wordy and long ....)was simply trying to say that with many different messages that can add to a young person's confusion, a Christian school needs to be a safe place without pressure where they can navigate their experiences, their confusion, and come to their own conclusions about their sexuality and identity.
One of the things that I talk about with Christian educators when I'm leading seminars with them is the need to acknowledge the contributions of sexual minorities in the history of the church. A more recent example would be Henri Nouwen who's writing in the area of spiritual formation has been extremely significant and influential in many people's lives. Nouwen was gay. I encourage them to share those sorts of stories with their students so that there are positive role models both for the students who may be gay themselves and for those who may need some help to develop more positive attitudes toward gay people. So it is not that I am against the use of gay-positive examples - it is simply that I want students to have the space they need to truly figure out who they.
You know, based on comments I've seen from you in the past, I'm not at all confident that you wouldn't want to see a gay kid live "inauthentically".
ReplyDeleteYour support for mixed orientation marriages is a matter of public record. You've argued that it's a perfectly valid choice for a gay man to marry a woman and yet in the eyes of virtually the entire LGBT community (not to mention the vast majority of straights) this would be the most inauthentic kind of relationship imaginable.
What I understand from your words here and elsewhere is that you think it would be tragic for a straight kid to somehow become confused about his sexuality and live as if he were gay, yet you're quite happy for gay people to live as if they were straight.
In other words, gay must be bad. Homophobia by any definition.
I pray that any "confused" young people who fall into your clutches will see through your manipulative PC language and glib phrases to the essential homophobia underneath and flee at the first opportunity. And that those who don't or can't will one day be healed from the damage you do.
I wonder how many young gay lives have been and are in the process of being wrecked by your intervention, Mrs Gritter? How do you live with yourself?
Hi Stephen,
ReplyDeleteI have been explicit on this blog that I do not recommend mixed orientation marriage to an individual who asks my opinion. I have also clearly described the harm that I have seen individuals and families endure when a mixed orientation is not sustainable. These realities are painful – and I would not want to see another individual or family experience that.
This does not change the fact, however, that I know people in mixed orientation marriages who are experiencing that relationship / family as life-giving for them and who choose to invest in nurturing their marriage. Because it is their goal to maintain fidelity to the vows they have made to their spouse and to parent their children, if they have any, within the family unit, I will support them and encourage them in that goal.
If someone in a mixed orientation requests to connect with me, one of the things I will always inquire about is the extent to which they are honest with themselves, their spouse, and any others about the reality of their same-sex attraction. While there is often the need for discernment in the disclosure process, my rule of thumb is to encourage an individual to be as honest as possible about the reality of their same-sex attraction.
Your comment, Stephen, could be construed as suggesting that unless a gay person is actualizing their sexuality in a consummated same-sex relationship they are not living an authentic life. Is this what you meant? In my understanding, sexuality is a much deeper part of our personhood than our sexual behavior – and therefore the degree to which we are living authentically is not measured by our sexual behaviours. A same-sex attracted individual in a mixed orientation marriage can, I believe, live an authentic life even though they are not in a gay relationship.
As to your contention that I think it would be tragic for a straight child to live as a gay person but that its ok for a gay person to live as though they were straight, I think you’re reading a fair bit into what you assume to be my position. I think it is harmful for an individual to feel as though they must hide part of themselves and not be honest with themselves or trusted others and to strive to be something they are not – regardless of their sexual orientation. I do think, however, that an individual who is in a mixed orientation can choose to live honestly and without hiding within such a relationship – even though their sexual behavior might not match their orientation and/or attractions. Hypothetically, if a straight person fell in love with someone of their own gender despite not generally being sexually attracted to their own gender and decided to marry them – while being open and honest with themselves and their spouse that they were primarily opposite gender attracted – I wouldn’t label them as living an inauthentic life. We might not understand why someone would do that if they didn’t feel social or religious pressure to make such a choice – but just by making that choice doesn’t mean they aren’t being honest about their attractions. For some, they might simply say that the gender of the person they fall in love with isn’t the most important factor for them.
"A same-sex attracted individual in a mixed orientation marriage can, I believe, live an authentic life even though they are not in a gay relationship."
ReplyDeleteA gay man married to a woman closes himself off from the possibility of an authentic life because he lives a lie. Marriage is founded on spousal love, which includes sexual attraction and desire. Marrying someone to whom you'll never be attracted makes a mockery of the very concept of marriage and this is, in my opinion, just about the most inauthentic thing anyone can do.
You don't have to be sexually active to be authentic. You could even make a commitment to lifelong celibacy and renounce sexual intimacy altogether. But if you enter into a simulacrum of a marriage in order to satisfy the moral imperatives of a rigid and unforgiving faith then you're being as inauthentic and untrue to yourself as it's possible to be. As well as giving ammunition to the conservatives who'd like to force all of us into such marriages. "See, he can do it so why can't you? He's happy with his faux wife and his fake marriage and his white picket fence and you will be too, if you only give it try!"
I find these ersatz marriages morally offensive and although one has to feel a certain amount of compassion for those who spring that sort of a trap on themselves, condoning their mistakes and pretending that their choices are authentic devalues the whole concept of marriage.
Stephen - you are certainly most welcome to your opinions - but that is what they are: opinions. Neither you nor I are personally in mixed-orientation marriages. That means that both of us are speculating at best as to the experience of those who are in mixed-orientation marriages. Of my many friends and contacts who lived contented lives in mixed-orientation marriages, I believe them when they tell me that they do love and desire their opposite gender spouse - even if the vast majority of their sexual attractions are for the same-sex. I'm not sure that I agree with the rigidity of sexuality that you seem to be presenting. Sexuality is complex enough that to imagine that it is not confined in the box of 100% same-sex or 100% opposite-sex is not a huge stretch. Fluidity has been demonstrated by research. Not only that, but the entire idea of gender and the ways some are considering its deconstruction seems to suggest that loving an individual is greater than a reductionistic sense of gender.
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the day, since this is not my personal experience I will simply defer to the personal narratives that I have had the privilege of hearing - and in those stories, I hear authenticity in the midst of mixed-orientation. Your surmising from the theoretical seems overly rigid - and does not resonate with the actual experience of some people living in mixed-orientation marriages. I am sure others, who were/are unhappy in a mixed orientation marriage would fully agree with what you've described. But here's the rub - the matters we are discussing are far too complex to project one narrow idea on everyone's experience. In light of this, my posture seeks to be one of generosity that hears each unique individual's journey for what it is - and based on that, I have encountered same-sex attracted people married to opposite gender spouses who do claim to live authentic lives. I have also heard the heart-breaking stories of those for whom a mixed-orientation marriage was absolutely draining and detrimental to their sense of personhood. I don't think one or the other are lying - I simply think they have had very different experiences for a complex combination of different reasons.
My opinions may well be just that: opinions. But so are yours. We all have opinions. None of us can prove that they coincide with God's truth. So dismissing one person's point of view as an "opinion" while presenting one's own as fact based on careful observation and goodwill (as if wanting to believe other people's desperate attempts to justify their major life mistakes makes you more virtuous than me) is nothing more than manipulative demagoguery.
ReplyDeleteNot that I'm surprised of course. A very cursory reading of anything you've written confirms this tendency towards self-justification and a placing of yourself at the moral centre of any given situation. It seems that all that suffices to make a situation moral is that you support it. Perhaps you really do have a direct line to God's conscience. And then again, perhaps you don't.
Of course I'm not surprised that you support mixed orientation marriages. You and others like you have worked your whole lives to do violence to the LGBT community, so there are plenty of us out there who've been broken on your mill. You've created this mad situation whereby people think it's acceptable to deny their true orientation in marriage, so it hardly surprises me that you'd try to justify your actions by supporting those who can't admit their own mistakes. Mistakes that you helped to push them into making. Mistakes that you bear a large measure of moral responsibility for. I've seen your writings supporting the decision of gay people to enter into what you called "God honouring marriages". How many did you push down that road? How many lives are you responsible for messing up? I wonder how you sleep at night, Mrs Gritter. By justifying your actions as "supportive"? Just as you do now when you maintain the fiction that the few mixed orientation "marriages" that survive long term are more than just a framework for self-hating gays to hang their internalised homophobia on?
Look to your own motivations and ask yourself why you feel compelled to support something that you helped to bring about when the evidence overwhelmingly suggests that these "marriages" do much more harm than good. Harm to LGBT individuals. Harm to the straight people they marry. And harm to any children who have the misfortune to be born into such a faux and hollow union. I would suggest that self-justification has a lot to do with it. Which in my "opinion" means you're a dangerous woman. If justifying your own actions is more important to you than the well-being of the people you claim to want to minister to, the harm you're still capable of doing is immense.
I think if it were me in your situation I'd have apologized for the harm I'd done and withdrawn from ministry in much the same way a disgraced politician withdraws from politics. When credibility is gone, retirement is the only honourable option.
So why haven't you retired, Mrs Gritter?
You're quite right Stephen. Most of what I write on this blog is my opinion. That's usually what blogs are. In my opinion, your assertion that you find all mixed orientation marriages to be morally offensive is disconnected from the lives of real people living such a reality in a life-giving manner. You are quite entitled to feel that way. I just do not think it consistent with the narratives of the people who are actually happily living in an m.o.m who would likely be offended by your opinion.
ReplyDeleteYou indicate that there is overwhelming evidence that mixed orientation marriages do more harm than good. I would be very intrigued to review this evidence.
I think there is sufficient risk of harm to have adopted the clear position of not recommending mixed-orientation marriage. But I will honour the convictions of those who do live their life having chosen that reality and yes, will be as supportive of them as I can be. The autonomy of the individual is important to me.
In an idealized world of black and white there would be no room for evolution of approach or perspective. Everyone would simply know the perfect thing to do and do it. This is not the world I live in, however. The world I live in is full of grey, full of messy chaotic tension. In these spaces people want to connect with someone who has travelled through the paradigms that I have as they seek to find their own place to land. Being non-directive in people's lives, for many is one of the first or few places where they have found the space to really wrestle with or live with the hard questions and tension. In the real world of unsafe church environments for honest conversation, I will continue to serve to the best of my ability to nurture generous spaces.
It is clear that you think my work to be unnecessary and tainted by my past. You are quite entitled to that opinion. Thankfully, such an opinion isn't authoritative in my life. Grace is authoritative in my life. I have received it - and I seek to offer it. In this reality I find rest.
"It is clear that you think my work to be unnecessary and tainted by my past. You are quite entitled to that opinion. Thankfully, such an opinion isn't authoritative in my life. Grace is authoritative in my life. I have received it - and I seek to offer it. In this reality I find rest."
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that what you call "grace" most people would call a "get-out-of-jail-free card".
I'm all for grace. It's best to extend forgiveness wherever you can. If they were truly repentant, I'd even forgive the RC priests who've abused the children in their care. But the grace I extended to them would not include putting them back in charge of children. Only a fool would let that happen. Repentance and forgiveness do not guarantee a cure and the rights of children to be protected from predators most certainly trump the rights of those predators to continue doing a job they love.
Why should we trust you not to repeat your pattern of violence towards the LGBT community? Because you feel called to minister to us? I wonder how many pedophile priests still feel called to minister to children? Should we allow them to?
Your belief that grace justifies your continuing ministry is nothing but self-justification. An honourable woman would own up to the harm she's done, try to make amends and then seek some other means of serving God rather than continuing to inflict herself on those she's already done so much harm to.
Work with some other minority where your reputation isn't tainted by your past actions. Go minister to AIDS orphans in Africa. Do something but leave the LGBT community in peace.
Stephen - I actually think you would find theologians who would describe grace as a "get out of jail free card" in fact they might say it even more strongly .... "get out of the death penalty free card". In my life I've been profoundly grateful to receive God's grace - but I'm also immensely grateful to receive grace from LGBT people including some who had a negative experience with New Direction specifically. Grace is outrageous, it is illogical, it isn't what we deserve.... without it we live in a world of vengeance, of reprisal and no second chances. I am very grateful to not have to live in such a world.
ReplyDeleteAt the same time, I would agree that imposing oneself on a group that does not want your service isn't about grace - it is about being self-focused. You and I perhaps differ in our sense of my work. You seem to think I am imposing myself on the LGBT community and should move on to serve another community. I would view my work as being primarily in the faith community as an advocate voice for LGBT people. But whether it is LGBT individuals I interact with or the faith community - I go where I am invited. This blog is public - but there is no imposition on anyone to read it. There is an open invitation to read it. I go to speak places, or do consultative work, or meet with individuals in the capacity of spiritual director, mentor or coach where I have been asked to do so. In terms of young people specifically, we have had the policy, as long as I've been with the ministry, that we do not meet more than once with a young person unless they choose to meet with us (and we spend the first session exploring whether they really want to be there or feel pressure to be there from parents, church etc.).
You are quite entitled to feel that I have no business engaging with LGBT people - but I think the LGBT people across a broad spectrum of belief and practice who do connect with me have chosen to do so. Again, respecting and valuing the autonomy of the individual is extremely important to me.