There is nothing new under the sun. So I don’t expect to be developing anything that hasn’t already been worked on in other contexts. However, it is my hope that work on such a model will give pastors and leaders concrete support in shepherding their communities through the landmines of tension and diversity in a manner that is pastorally faithful and helpful and that ultimately builds up and strengthens the Body of Christ both within its fellowship and in its mission to their context.
The first week was mainly a time of orientation and getting to know our cohort learning group. But already, in a few of the sessions I could feel the excitement of applying some of my learning to this area of engagement I am so passionately committed to. One of the comments of the director of the program was about educating the reflective practitioner. This is the intention of the program I am in – taking those with ministry experience, encouraging them to reflect on their experiences, and deepening their insight through further education and application.
In educating the reflective practitioner there are three stages of growth. In the first, the practitioner reflects on a given action. In the second, there is a knowing in action. And in the third, there is reflection in action. What this means is that initially, a practitioner does something and afterwards, hopefully, reflects on it. This builds towards the second stage where the practitioner takes the reflection and uses it as knowledge in their subsequent action. Finally, this experience becomes like second nature in allowing the practitioner to respond with discernment in action. A concrete example would be a pastor who encounters an LGBT person in their congregation or neighbourhood context. In those encounters they do the best they can to converse in a manner that is consistent with their values for ministry. Inevitably, as they reflect on these encounters there will be some learnings and understanding that they are able to add to their ministry experience. At this stage, they may realize some deficits in their ability to navigate these conversations and reach out for some additional input and help from such resources as websites, other pastors with more experience, books etc. Then in subsequent encounters, this pastor will be able to bring some of that experience into their conversations. Finally, after having many such encounters and conversations, they will be able to be responsive to individual and unique needs because their general reflection and knowledge gathering will have prepared and equipped them for such discernment. It struck me as I sat listening to this general description of educating the reflective practitioner, that for many pastors they simply don’t experience enough encounters with LGBT people to move through these stages. They don’t have enough experience and knowledge to get to the stage of being reflective IN action. Not only that, but I have encountered a lot of pastors who presume that they know enough to be reflective in action. They have some gay friends, have read some books on the topic, and feel like they know what they need to know. Unfortunately, given the degree of complexity and uniqueness of each individual journey, such presumption limits the pastoral effectiveness of being able to be responsive. It also means that for many pastors it is difficult to really be aware of the context of their own beliefs and feelings, to critique or deconstruct personal assumptions, and to assess alternative perspectives without interference from their beliefs, feelings and assumptions. This kind of reflective process happens when a practitioner has had the opportunity to reflect on action through varied experiences, to apply knowledge (from both reflection and accessing resources) in additional ministry experiences, and finally to be responsive (uncoloured by their own assumptions or feelings) in diverse experiences.
What does this mean? Well, it would be helpful if more people were able to be honest and upfront with their pastors about the reality of same-sex attraction in their lives. I understand that it does not always feel safe to do so or that the demonstrated consequences hinder such disclosure. However, the only way that pastors will move towards becoming reflective IN action is if they have the opportunity to engage different people with different experiences and move towards a non-threatened, open, generous capacity to respond without assumptions, feelings and rigidness affecting their response. Note – being reflective IN action does not presume a particular theological position. It is simply describing a pastor who will have the capacity to embody humble generosity in walking with an LGBT person. So if more people came out to their pastor – then more pastors would grow in being able to respond well. That’s kind of a no-brainer – but also somewhat idealistic.
It also means that pastors need to realize that to grow in their effectiveness to engage in this area of ministry, they need to open their lives and hearts to more LGBT people. It isn’t just gay people who need to come out – it is the pastors who need to step out and invest their lives in friendship with LGBT folks.
Pastors, generally speaking, need to be a bit more humble about the need for more experience in this area and not hide behind excuses of being too busy, or knowing everything they need to know because they have 2 gay friends and have read “Love is an Orientation”. While it is understandable that many pastors are busy people, being teachable, open and eager to grow in experience should be a base-line posture when considering this area of ministry.
It also means that more resources need to be made available that are relational and narratival in nature. The truth is, not every pastor is going to have the opportunity to grow through personal experience pastoring LGBT people. But they can benefit from hearing other pastors’ experiences and even more from the first hand accounts of LGBT Christians navigating journeys of faith in community with the church.
This is why New Direction is sponsoring a FREE live stream event on Tuesday, June 21 at 2:00 pm EST. I will be hosting a panel of three other pastors as we engage video interviews with a number of gay Christians. The first hour will be facilitated discussion with the panel – then the second hour will be engaging the questions and comments from those who are joining us online. We want this to be a time set aside for reflection on action. We also hope it will be a time for some new knowledge that can be applied. And we hope to benefit from those who have journeyed the road long enough to be reflective in action. This means we will hear about personal transformation as attitudes and assumptions have been critiqued, various perspectives considered, and a willingness to risk and engage modeled.
The pastors on our panel will be:
Mark Tidd ~
Mark is the pastor of Highlands Church in Denver, CO. He and Highlands made the decision to become an affirming and inclusive church at significant cost. Since that decision Highlands has grown, has a vibrant sense of mission, and embodies hospitality to all people.
Michelle Top ~
Michelle is co-pastor with her husband Ed at the Lantern Church in Calgary, AB. Michelle lives an incarnational model of ministry as she lives, works, plays and participates in her local neighbourhood. Along the way, God has brought lots of LGBT friends into Michelle’s life and she finds herself navigating some of the inevitable tensions of grassroots ministry in a larger denominational context.
Pernell Goodyear ~
Pernell is teaching pastor at Hillside Church in London, ON. Pernell spent ten years building a missional community in downtown Hamilton where people from all walks of life found a place to belong. Pernell has experience across denominations, is a coach for planters, and facilitates learning through the Cultivate network.
The live stream event will be just one part of the filming we do with this group and the 20 gay Christians I had the joy of interviewing. We’ll spend the rest of the day filming additional segments with the final result being New Direction’s next DVD project.
Please consider joining us for this FREE live stream event. You can use this Facebook event to stay updated on current details, to RSVP, AND to let others in your networks know about this opportunity. Spread the word and contribute to increasing the level of reflection on and in action so that we can all participate in nurturing safe and spacious places for LGBT people to explore and grow in faith in Jesus Christ.
-WG
Wendy said:
ReplyDelete"... and to assess alternative perspectives without interference from their beliefs, feelings and assumptions."
Wendy, can LGBT persons become Reflective Practitioners ... not, through formal course work; but, through Reflective Listening, meditating on what's being said, and taking that out in our day-to-day lives.
Since, reading your blog, attending A.A., prayer and meditation; I feel drawn to "be with another" ... to day-by-day diminish "othering people", and walk together.
Your Posts are filled with some real gems for meditation; and, certainly carry a place of serenity and peace. Reflective Reading and Listening really helps to later set aside our "beliefs, feelings, and assumptions" ... but, it takes real work, practice, and the Holy Spirit to use us to good purpose.
Good Luck on your doctoral studies; and, your new DVD Project. I hope to listen in.
Thanks for your comment Teresa. Absolutely - I think we can all grow in being reflective in our actions in all areas of our life. It sounds like that is exactly what you're doing. Be encouraged and keep pressing forward!
ReplyDelete...and have read “Love is an Orientation”.
ReplyDeleteAt this juncture, I think it's also important to talk about primary sources, secondary sources, and the important difference between them.
I haven't read Marin's book. As none of my Christian friends have chosen to use it as a resource, I haven't felt it necessary to do so. As such, I will not presume to offer an opinion on the books merits or flaws beyond this:
Marin is not gay. He's not telling his story. He's offering his thoughts on other people's stories and experience and even trying to recount their stories. But the bottom line is that what he's writing, even when he's recounting the experiences and views of gay people (and I'm given to understand he does this quite a bit, for which he deserves a great deal of credit and recognition for being far better than some Christians who have chosen to write about gay people), it's still being filtered through the mind and pen of someone who is not gay. That makes it, by definition, a secondary source.
Secondary sources can be nice, but they are not primary sources. Whenever possible, primary sources -- in this case talking to gay people directly or reading stuff written by gay authors -- is preferable. Secondary sources can be valuable, but they shouldn't be confused as equal to primary sources. No matter how well written they are.
I'll have more to say on the rest of the post in a bit. Good stuff, Wendy!
It also means that pastors need to realize that to grow in their effectiveness to engage in this area of ministry, they need to open their lives and hearts to more LGBT people.
ReplyDeleteI think part of this is understanding that expecting people to come to you -- and this applies to all Christians rather than just pastors -- isn't going to work. Even inviting them to come to you isn't going to work. Effectively, it's asking that person to enter into an unknown, frightening, and potentially risky (at least from an emotional standpoint) situation while you remain in a comfortable (for you,) safe (for you) and, controllable (by you) environment. Putting someone in that situation is generally not good outreach.
Of course, I don't think a lot of people realize just what a peculiar position that puts the other person in, which brings me to my next topic: privilege. We live in a society that shows favor to certain people over other people. Society is just built to cater to them and serve them, and this means that some people sometimes have the luxury/privilege of doing certain things without a thought, while others of us find doing those same things an ordeal. If you're straight and partnered, how many times have you walked down the street holding your partner's hands without thinking about it? Imagine wanting to hold your partner's hand while walking down the street, but having to first look around and assess whether the neighborhood is safe, whether anyone might use that simple action as an excuse to assault you. That's the reality for may gay men and women.
Or if you know anyone who is transgendered, ask them about what they go through -- even just inside their own head -- when they're in public and need to use the restroom. The transgendered panelists I was blessed to hear speak to a couple months ago spent almost ten minutes talking about that one topic, and it was a real eye opener for me, who's never given a second thought to using a public restroom. (Hey, as a cisgendered gay man, I'm privileged in some situations and disadvantages in others. Most people are.)
Understanding the concept of privilege and being able to look beyond your own to see the realities of others is essential to understanding and dialoging with others. And to tie it back to my earlier comments, I'd say that especially goes for understanding where the privilege of being able to be comfortable in a church or pastor's office and not worrying about what's going to be said or how you're going to be treated for your sexual orientation or gender identity is a big one to understand.
Granted, it's not easy to step out of your comfort zones to meet LGBT people in places where they are more comfortable. It's frightening. And it does tend to make you more vulnerable. And then I think it's also important to be clear on why you're doing it, both for your own benefit and that of those you're trying to reach out to. But then, in fairness, if you're the one trying to reach out, doesn't it make sense for you to take a fair share amount of the risks associated with it, and maybe even a little more?
Granted, some people don't want to be reached out to and they can be quite belligerent about that fact. That sucks, and I sincerely empathize with those Christians who sincerely reach out only to get slapped back.
very good point Jarred. it is one i'm mindful of in my own writing. i almost felt a bit odd putting up the profiles and photos of the pastors and not of the lgbt people i interviewed who will be part of the conversation .... but there are a lot more of them and i wasn't sure about privacy etc. but for sure, a big part of the conversation will be hearing directly from lgbt people and their thoughts about church and the role of a pastor in their spiritual journey.
ReplyDeleteanother great comment Jarred. i am grateful to report that i know a new generation of pastors who don't expect people to come to them primarily. they are coaching their kids' soccer teams, they're editing community newspapers, they're involved in local theatre, they use the local coffee shop as a second office to simply be with people in their neighbourhoods etc. so this generation of pastors is just as likely to encounter lgbt people in the normal course of life, like walking the dog, as anyone else. this isn't scary or intimidating - it just means you need to make room in your life for more new friends - and that will include the lgbt folks in your everyday life. this is incarnational living - this is recognizing that you need to make yourself accessible and take the first steps.
ReplyDeleteyour comments about privilege are also bang on. this is something i'm regularly talking about in church contexts. heterosexism has been caricaturized as a "weapon of the gay agenda" by some voices in the christian community - but i think this is a convenient cover to not have to really look at the concrete, tangible implications of privilege. so even though that is often tricky water to navigate, i keep trying to bring these questions to the church community. in fact in my studies i hope to do more work in this whole area - because it significantly impacts how we approach biblical intrepretation - not just sexism and heterosexism - but many of the other 'ism's' like racism, class systems etc.
Jarred, I've read your two comments with interest, as you always bring some good thoughts for me to chew over.
ReplyDeleteI've thought often before about the concept of 'privilege' and what it meant for me. So, as a gay woman, I sure understand that idea of privilege. But, I'm musing now; and, thinking in a different direction. Do you think, Jarred, that perceiving someone else as privileged tends to put us in a position of impotency ... almost being neutered, helpless: the acted upon, and never the actor? Is the perception different than the reality?
Thoughts, Jarred, or anyone else.
Teresa: Good question. My short answer is that I don't think that acknowledging one's disadvantaged status (or someone else's privileged status) in a given scenario inherently leads to a sense of impotency or passivity. A person or group can acknowledge and point out that they face certain challenges that others don't have to worry about and still rise to meet that challenge and overcome it.
ReplyDeleteGranted, in some cases, people might need help in overcoming those challenges. And ultimately, when the challenge is the result of a systemic issue that favors one group over another -- be it straight people over gay people or people with strong reading skills over people with dyslexia -- I do think it's everyone's duty to start wondering why the system is the way it is and how it might be changed.