First: I'm thrilled to announce the release of the "Pastors' Conversation: Navigating LGBT Issues and Questions" DVD resource. You may have had the opportunity to watch the live stream back in June 2011 or since watched that video .... but the DVD contains completely different footage. With a run-time of 2 hours (not including the additional interview footage of all the folks I interviewed), this is a thought-provoking discussion that will get you thinking and catalyze all kinds of challenging conversations. I encourage you to consider purchasing one for your pastor! And we've made that even more manageable by having our first ever DVD sale!
Second: I finished my book manuscript! There was a period of time when I wanted to just delete the whole thing and I despaired a bit that it would ever come together and make any sense. But ..... there is grace. I currently have a proposal in to a publisher and we shall see what happens. The working title of the book is:
Nuturing Generous Spaciousness: a Response to Gay Christians in the Church
Now that the book is done...hopefully I can get back to writing for this blog and the ongoing much needed updates for other sites hosted by New Direction.
Third: Relevant Engagement 2011 has come and gone. This is New Direction's annual event - and this year nearly everything that could fall apart did. The event coordinator I've worked with for 5 years had to bail a few weeks before the event. The technology team leader I've worked with for 5 years also bailed. An artistic presentation that was to make up a significant portion of the program ... you guessed it ... bailed at the last minute. None-the-less, grace abounds. We pulled things together and had an absolutely fantastic night. But don't take my word for it, check out this review of the event over at Ex-Gay Watch.If you have some time on your hands, watch the video of the event. And if my explanations of who we are and what we do is boring .... then skip through to about the 1 hour mark and watch the interviews I did with some of my amazing friends who have been recipients of our ministry.
Fourth: My busy traveling schedule is nearly upon me ..... and that always takes up time in planning and preparing. I'm heading to Grand Rapids, Michigan later today. I'll be teaming up with Greg Gough and Diane Hartig of "Bridge Evidence Group" to do a morning session with pastors and leaders. At the end of the month I'll be heading to Vancouver for a few days to meet with more pastors. Then I head to Edmonton where I'll be leading a parish retreat for an Anglican church and doing some presentations with other churches as well. Then the first weekend in November I'll be flying to Denver to participate in the Symposium on "Homosexuality & the Evangelical Church" which is sponsored by Highlands Church. Then I'm home for a day to do laundry and pack and kiss my kids and then I head to Cambodia for 10 days.
Cambodia? Yup. Cambodia. New Direction has a dream of mobilizing folks from our networks to join in social justice initiatives. We hope to begin with partnerships with some key grassroots agencies in Cambodia that focus on two intervention and restoration strategies. The first is the work with ladyboy sex workers. These trans young men are considered the lowest of the low of Cambodian society. They face very few options other than the sex trade. However, some of the agencies there are helping the individuals who want to leave the sex trade by training them for fair trade employment opportunities. I can't wait to see for myself the in's and out's of this program and hopefully with the help of translators to hear some of the stories these individuals have to share. The second focus is the prevention, intervention and care of sexually traumatized boys. In Cambodia there is very little acknowledgement that boys can be sexually exploited and abused. There is a small agency that has worked very hard to do research, to work in partnership with other social service agencies and to intervene in the lives of boys who have been abused. This kind of work is critical, not only for the particular boys affected, but for the message that it communicates to Cambodian society. These are important steps in prevention, in breaking down assumptions and stereotypes, and bringing the necessary social change that will extend dignity and respect to ALL citizens.
I share all of these details because if you are in one of the places I'm traveling to - pop me a note, I love to make room for individual connections between presentations - and I'd love to meet up with any readers of BTG. And, if the brief things I've shared about Cambodia touch your heart, please also take the time to connect with me. I will be looking for champions, advocates and contact and connecting people to help raise awareness and get people engaged.-WG
Hi Wendy- I watched most of the Relevant Engagement on Ex-Gay Watch. For the most part, cool.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit to being outraged on behalf of the young woman in the video clip whose church participation was tolerated but not to the extent that she was allowed to serve. Hard to say what bothered me more - the judgmentalism of a church who refuses to grant her access to her need for self-actualization (to be a positive force in the world) in community with them or the fact that she felt this church had any entitlement to be an authority to which she ought to submit.
IMHO that church does not deserve her, and she deserves better. If that church were a girlfriend I'd tell the young woman to end it and find someone who loves and values her for who she is and treasures her spirit and her loves.
But that's me and my journey.
Second thought, cool also about the upcoming trip to Cambodia. My initial reaction is that I hope you will have an ear open to whether or not gay men are being scapegoated for this horrific exploitation. I hope it doesn't sound too self-serving on my part, however, I have had to be conscious of such perceptions for my entire career.
In my first teaching job there was a social worker who came to our school to talk to us about child molestation. She profiled what at the time was considered the typical abuser: single, male, no girlfriend, works with chidren.
Well, that was me. I remember asking her about that, that I fit the description but would never dream of harming a child. Her response was that I was to be extraordinarily vigilant about any contact I had with a child.
What it basically translated to was that I couldn't tie a child's shoelace without another adult present; and I have maintained that level of vigilance for 30 years. And yet the myths of homosexuality and pedophilia persist despite the facts which have debunked the connection.
If there is an anti-gay element in Cambodia I am sure they will jump to make the false correlation. I hope that as you work to relieve the abuse and trauma experienced by these children that your cohort will be sensitive to false accusations as to the source of the abuse.
Good luck to you through your mind-bogglingly full calendar!
Brian
Brian, I can totally understand your response to Tonnetta's video. I've encountered similar reactions from both gay and straight viewers who have seen the video. One of the challenges of engaging in conversation through making room to hear real people's stories is to both create space for people to have their reactions and to gently remind people of the subtle ways we can be patronizing in our responses. How do we honour people's stories - even when they may be making painful choices that we feel could be navigated differently in a more empowering way ..... These are challenging questions. Tonnetta is a very bright young woman who has been very courageous - and who continues to seek to discern and follow God's will for her life. When we encounter her story - no matter what perspective we hold - my hope is that we will be still in the face of such courage and listen deeply. I think the interview with her is so powerful because it evokes deep responses in those who engage it. It is catalytic - even if for different reasons in different people. This is the kind of catalyst we need - we need people to be moved - maybe even uncomfortable - not to change Tonnetta - but to change ourselves.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments about Cambodia. That is a very helpful perspective and reminder to take with me. Because LGBT realities seem to be so under the radar there .... I'm not sure what I will encounter. And while my primary posture in going will be as a listener and observer .... I still go with the mantle and calling of an advocate. So my radar will be up and I will seek to be alert to discern when, how and what to speak in response to this incredible experience before me. That there will be a need to speak up for justice I have no doubt - what shape that will take - I don't yet know.
Yes. I am duly chastened!
ReplyDeleteAnd don't I get angry when someone else takes it upon themselves to interpret my experience for me or to tell me what my experience ought to be.
I could never choose Tonnetta's path. For me the benefit wouldn't outweigh the pain. I'd like to think, though, that if I met Tonnetta in person I'd be circumspect enough to keep my judgment to myself.
I'm not sure that I would. I'll have to think about that. My judgment certainly is highly correlated to the outrage I carry over my own history with church (and is not necessarily part of Tonnetta's journey). I think I have to reconsider where my own boundaries are regarding stories like hers (that trigger my issues and my politics).
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I look forward to hearing about your trip when you return!
My friend - not chastisement .... just gentle reminders to all of us to allow people to own their own journey. I think you are also brave to engage some of these stories knowing some of your history and journey. I hope that you will continue to engage .... a crucible of sorts that may be a source of some healing and peace.
ReplyDeleteJudgement is a powerful thing isn't it. It is a boomer-rang of sorts - one that no one wants to be on the receiving end of. I come back again and again to Desmond Tutu's words, "If I diminish you - I diminish myself". It seems to me that our interconnectedness alone is a motivator consider the inevitable judgments that arise within us. There is a distinction of course between having a clear opinion / perspective on a matter - and judging those who are navigating a situation differently than we think they should. When our opinion / perspective is such that there is an injustice inherent in a system - then we work, in whatever capacity we have, to overcome such injustice. This is very different than judging those within such system - who are doing the best they can to navigate it in a life-giving way. It would seem to me, that at the heart of some of our judgments lies a desire to see injustice overcome.
cambodia is great! i've been there twice: once for a one-week vacation when i was working in south korea, and then again when that job was finished. the second time there, my friends and i went to a drag show at a gay bar in siem reap. it was really interesting to talk with the guys there, some who did drag and some who didn't, and learn about their views on gender and sexuality. they asked me, "are you a ladyboy in the united states?" it was fascinating in cambodia and during the rest of my travels to meet drag performers and trans individuals and get more of a glimpse of the diversity of non-straight sexuality in the world. i'll be really interested to learn about your work in cambodia; i've often wondered what it would look like to advocate for people around the world outside of the heterosexual norm.
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